The Best & Most Complicated Care Package Ever

I had a note taped to my door last night when I got home. Speaking of going home, last night I pulled a smart one and got on the wrong bus in Suwon. Why was I in Suwon? Laurie and I felt it necessary to improve Korea's economy by devouring dinner and dessert at TGI Friday's.

Anyways, back to the side story. I said my final goodbye (she is going back home for Christmas, the lucky mee chin nyun) and hopped on what I thought was bus 720-1.

I was so tired due to my small cold and 2am viewing of Sleepless in Seattle the night before, that I fell asleep. When I woke up, I noticed we were passing a sign that said Tancheon stadium was to the right, but we went straight. Mmmmm, that's odd. I live next to Tancheon stadium. Why aren't we going that way?

After a few more stops, I begin to realize either
A) I'm dreaming,
B) the route has changed or
C) this bus driver is an idiot who doesn't know the correct route.

I begin to get up to yell at him for not taking me directly to my apartment and not serving hot cocoa on the bus, when I glance at the list of stops. It's there that I see the damn -2 in the corner.

So those little tiny numbers after the dashes really do mean something, in case you were wondering.

At this point, its just a Korean lady and me on the bus, and he is now flying down a windy dark road with no traffic. He finally stops in front of some quiet dark apartment complexes and tells both of us to get off.

Whoops.

So I start walking across the street to the other stop, to go back toward AK plaza where I can either take the subway home or get on the right stinkin' bus.

Did I mention the street was dark and quiet?

Nonetheless, when I start to cross this empty street, the ajumma grabs my arm and starts talking to me in Korean. She was probably saying something like,
"Idiot foreigner, you can't cross the street if you aren't at a cross walk and the pedestrian light isn't green! With this quiet road, there's no telling how many cars will start to fly past as you quickly cross the street."

So we walk down to the cross walk together, and make it ever so safely to the empty bus stop to go back the other way.

After the bus ride back, followed by a quick subway ride, I finally arrive in Yatap. Only when I swipe my T-money card, it says error and won't let me go through.

Did I mention I was holding a bag filled with popcorn, hangers, oreos, and a huge heavy jug of red wine? And that I have a cold and was up since 2am watching Sleepless in Seattle?

Anyways, I started to walk toward the handicap gate to hop over it, when a sweet Korean girl said no, no, it will work now...and she was right, somehow. I guess the one gate I chose was freakishly slow. Go figure.

How in the hell did I get on this subject? Oh yeah, there was a note taped to my door when I finally got home.

I brought it to school today for Lilith to read for me, and it said I had a parcel waiting for me at the security desk. Yay! I anxiously waited for 4:30 all day, so I could race home and see what it was. I walk to the security desk first, and show him this note. The same note my co teacher read and immediately understood that there was a package at the security desk.

But the security guy never gave me a package. Instead, he just looked at the note like it was written in English, and kept talking and asking me questions. I showed him my apartment # on the note, but he clearly didn't have a package for me. So I pointed up, thinking maybe he was telling me I needed to go to the actual apartment office. He nodded his head yes.

So I went to the top floor, and gave the lady the note. She then jabbers on in Korean for about a gazillion seconds, and then pulls out her bank book and starts asking me questions.

I start to wonder if I'm being punk'd. Where are you Ashton Kutcher?

I call my coordinator to translate for me, and she then asks me if I paid my bill.
"Yes, I got the bill two days ago, and paid it yesterday morning."
"Oh ok, she was going door to door to find out who paid a bill but didn't leave their name, but she has yours so you're ok."

Alright, so I came up here with a note about a parcel, and now we are talking about a bill, so did the note actually refer to the bill? I point at the note again and she points toward the neighboring apartment building and jabbers some more. I just look at her and say Ode yo (where)? Finally, she brings a maintenance guy to walk me to wherever I'm supposed to go to pick up this blasted package.

We get to the first floor. We walk toward the security desk.
The security guy sees the note, and immediately produces my package.

The same exact note!

Korea, you really confuse me sometimes.

No matter though. The important thing is this:


And this is why my parents will always be better than yours.

Getting There IS the Battle

Warning: this is long!

Yesterday, I did the tourist thing which includes getting slightly sun burned and sore from walking so much. So last night, I was asleep by 10pm only to be woken up at 4 because the drunk girls across from me weren't ready for bed yet. Then when they finally passed out, somebody's alarm clock kept going off and they just kept hitting snooze. That, or the alarm just got tired of ringing so it took breaks. I finally get out of bed at 7:15 with a stiff neck and sore legs, and try to get ready quickly.

At 7:45, I take a taxi (70 baht) to the nearest metro station to start my journey. I have to go to the ATI office to pick up my NOA and signed contract, so I can then go to the Korean embassy to apply for my visa. So, via metro, I get to the nearest Sky Train station. I love the sky train. It's so peaceful and has views like this.



But then I have to get off at my stop and proceed to walk to the ATI office. I have a map they sent me, and it looked really easy and close.

Only it wasn't.

According to the map, I just had to turn left on Sukhumvit 71, and the office is on the right hand side right before Soi 22. So I'm walking, looking for the land marks on the map, when I cross Soi 3. Soi 3? That's 19 sois away from 22! But I really have no choice, so I walk, and sweat, and walk and sweat some more. I finally cross St. Andrews School and ATI is supposed to be right after it.

Except it's not.

There's random stores, no office buildings of any kind. The address is 576. I see 574 and rejoice. Then I see 576...its a lawyer's office, and its closed. My course instructor told me it was on the second floor and that there was a sign, so I decide to ask a nice old lady walking by. When I say second floor, she points to these random stairs behind this locked gate. It looks like they lead to someone's house. Some man comes out of nowhere and unlocks the gate for me. At this point, I'm so sweaty and hot, I just go. I walk up the stairs, and am greeted with a blank door with a curtain over it. It's locked, of course. I'm almost ready to just lie down and completely melt into the sidewalk. But as I'm walking down the stairs, I hear the door open. It's Et, one of the Thais from the course!!! Never before have I been so happy to see a familiar face. She gives me my package; you know, the package I've been anxiously waiting for since mid July? Yeah, THAT package.

I want to make sure there's no other sky train station around, so I ask her if walking back to Sukhumvit's BTS is the fastest way. She says, "No, no, walk too far". I look at her, sweat dripping off my face, and say, "I just did". She laughs and thankfully says she'll walk me to the bus stop and make sure I get on the right one back to the BTS station. These buses freak me out by the way. They are only in Thai and there's about, oh, a gazillion different routes. I'm happy Et is helping me, but I'm still a little apprehensive. We wait and wait, but no bus. But then, this "contraption" drives up and it has BTS on the front. She says "Oh! You take this, only 6 baht". It stops and is completely full. Yet she's telling me to hurry and get in. I want to laugh and cry, but I don't. I somehow get into this tuk tuk/song thaew vehicle thing. One cheek is on the seat, the other is hanging off the side along with my feet. Needless to say, my hands probably almost snapped the railing in half from holding on. After the much faster and cooler trip to Sukhumvit Rd, it turns left instead of right. Damnit! But an older lady saves the day by pushing a button for it to stop. I get off and trek through Bangkok's noise and pollution back to the sky train.

It's now 9:45 and I have to get to the embassy. I take the Sky Train to the next station with a Metro entrance. After I get to the MRT stop, I head out, trusting Natalie's directions. If it weren't for her help, I surely would be in a mental institution for insanely wandering down a busy Bangkok highway. So after a 10 minute walk through more pollution, heat, and humidity, I see something.



Yes! Hooray! Finally!
It's 10:35. I walk in and see a sign that says "Visa Applications accepted from 8:30-10:30". Fuck. Mini panic attack ensues. I go in hoping they operate on Thai time (luckily they do). I give her all my documents and passport, and she tells me to come back Tuesday afternoon to pick up my visa. Did I finally do it? Yes, after 3 hours of navigating my way through Bangkok and all its pollution. At the embassy's bathroom, I finally sit down to pee, when I notice my purse's strap over my back and chest has caused two massive sweat stains. The brand new pink top I was wearing now has this round stain right in between my boobs. I look up at myself in the mirror after vigorously washing my hands. What is that on my face? I get a towel and literally wipe off the pollution from my skin. I need a year's supply of Origins after today. I can't even describe my hair at this point. It's too embarrassing.

Too tired to go all the way back across Bangkok, I decided I deserved a cool afternoon in the Paragon (Bangkok's nice mall). So I walk past Dolce & Gabbana, Marc Jacobs, and the Lambourghini store with a stained shirt, sweaty skirt, and horrible hair. But there's a movie theater on the 5th floor, with a Starbucks next door. So to hell with my appearance! This is how I'm ending my eventful day.