"We may or may not get back tonight."

Those were the sweetened words from Laurie's mouth about the cold hard truth.

All I could do was freeze for a second, then proceeded to laugh it off, and order some sweet potato cheese balls and water.

I walked to the counter and placed my order only to find my water in an actual glass cup with red hearts.

"Look at this! Has nobody ever ordered water here before?"

There was a stack of the normal cups, two of which were used for our cokes. They were sitting next to their water machine.

laughing, laughing, laughing, "I just don't understand why they gave me what is clearly an employee's glass."

laughing, laughing, laughing, "We are in Korea, Rachel."

Daegu, Korea to be exact. A few minutes after 3:00am.

"Our sandwiches and french fries were so good. And the nachos and burrito we had tonight."

"OMG that Tex Mex was so good! And don't forget the popcorn we had at the GoGo bar."

"That GoGo bar was so seedy."

"But we still had fun drinking our vodka mangoes. Remember those? Those were so good!"


"Almost as good as the shirts we bought from the same seedy bar! Good idea, Laurie. Now we'll always have something tangible to remind us of tonight."

"I should just say again that we may or may not get back tonight. That in itself might be enough to sear this night into our memories."

It's true. We had, in fact, stumbled across a seedy downstairs bar that was clearly the Daegu U.S. military hot spot. For 2 1/2 hours, we sat at the bar drinking our unlimited vodka mangoes while contemplating life, popcorn, guys, and everything in between. Three things happened at around 1:45am. Every single military guy immediately left to make it back before curfew, every single tiny Korean girl left because the military guys left, and Alex and Jodi left the hip hop club around the corner to come get us.

After purchasing our bright pink GoGo shirts, we hopped in a cab and sped off into the night. Since we were visiting A & J, there was no need to pay attention to the details of navigation. After all, its their city, and we were on vacation.

We arrived at their apartment, but Laurie and I discoverd, after taking a few goofy pictures of ourselves in the shirts, that we weren't sleepy. Not in the least bit.

We were hungry.

And you can't stop two margarita, sangria, and vodka mango filled girls from satisfying a hunger like ours.

Alex and Jodi were already asleep in the other room, so we decided to sneak out. As if A & J are our parents and we are going to meet Victor and Cody (or whoever you would hang out with in your younger sneaking out days).

After creeping down the stairs, ever so loudly, we start walking down the street to hail a cab. But as we walk arm in arm with our "GoGo vinyl" shirts on, we realize A) there's no restaurants anywhere nearby and B) we have no clue where we are.

"Oh! Here's a road sign for a girl's primary school. I'll text it to you, and it'll be saved in my phone. Then when we need to get back, we can just say this school. Easy leasy pemon squeezy."

"Good idea Rach! I think we should walk back the other way though to get a cab in that big intersection on the bridge."

A few minutes later, a cab was pulling over for us. We hopped in, giggly and upbeat as ever.

"Uhhhh, Lotteria?"

"or McDonald's?"

Cab driver: "Lotteria? Ok"....laughing

Cab driver: laughing..."Hungry?"

"Yes, yes! Hungry."

As Laurie and I discuss our insatiable need for french fries, the cab driver is zipping through the light 2am traffic. We arrive at the Lotteria, and he drives off.

Its at this moment I say "Man, I wish he would just wait on us to take us back. That way we won't have to worry about directions."

"We'll be fine. We've got that primary school's name."

We mosey on in, order our generic McDonald's wannabe meals, and proceed to inhale the most delicious food of all time.

It's amazing how time has such an important affect on how food tastes.

Well, that and vodka. and tequelia. and sangria.

After reluctantly leaving the heart covered glass in the restaurant, we leave. Somehow we remember to cross the street to get a cab going back the way we came. We hop in as I'm pulling out my phone.

I read off the romanization of the hangul* for the school.

"Hyeomyeong girls primary school"
Cab driver: "???"
"Uh, Hyaemyeong primary school?"
"Hyomong hakyo?"
Cab driver: "???"

He just starts driving. Its at this moment we realize we seriously may or may not get back tonight.

As we are driving, though, Laurie spots something familiar.

"Oh! There's that big Homeplus! We definitely passed it on the way."

But after a few more blocks, the cab driver stops, asking us which way. He can turn left or go straight.

The vodka quickly retreats from our brains, leaving us with the cold empty shock that comes from being lost at 3am in a city that is not ours.

"rencho?"

After hesitantly telling him to turn left, he confidently flies down the street, leaving us with nothing familiar in sight.

"Hey we're in a school zone. Maybe its Alex or Jodi's school!"

"Yeah maybe. Or maybe its not their school at all. Maybe we aren't even in Daegu anymore. Maybe we accidently told him to turn north and we are headed for Kim Jong-il's house right now."

"Like I said, we may or may not get back tonight."

Then a miracle happened.

"THE BIKE STORE! I've seen that before! RENCHO, RENCHO!!"

"THE DOG STORE!!! We made it! Yogi, yogi!!!"

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we miraculously steered him in the exact location we needed.

There's a lesson in all of this.

Never drink alone. Do it with a friend. It makes for a much more fun night.



*Hangul is the Korean alphabet. A lot of times, when they use the roman alphabet to translate, the sounds don't exactly match up. For example: my town is spelled Seongnam, but its pronounced Songnom. In other words, its pointless.

Also, after proofreading this, I realized that reading THE DOG STORE in Korea might elicit a disturbing image in your mind. This is a pet store, like to get dogs as pets, not snacks.

George Bush has charisma, and Obama is an adulterer.

One of the parents I teach asked me to go to dinner with her tonight to practice her English. When she asked me, she specifically said, just you and me. This lady is very spastic, intense, and just a lot to handle. But, she's also very nice and sweet, and who are we kidding? I'm not one to turn down a free meal.

So, I got home from school, did pilates, threw on a shirt, put my hair in a messy bun, threw on my sneakers, and walked to the restaurant. Whatever, just get this dinner/English practice over with, so I can be warm in my PJs.

She walks to the door to meet me, and takes me to our table. As I'm putting my things down, I realize there's two guys sitting at the table RIGHT next to us. They are looking at us like they know her or something. One of them is really really really cute too.

"Rachel, this is my nephew and my son!"

Oh shit.

I immediately see the cute sweater hanging in my closet, the stylish black boots next to my door, and my hair straightener and brush just lying by the bathroom sink.

Luckily, my mind wakes back up in time to meet Max, the Korean with the heavy Australian accent from Melbourne who will graduate with an Accounting degree next year. And her son, who I've taught for four months, but have no recognition of who he is. Don't judge- I see 750 students each week. Still, it would have been nice if he were one of the few kids whose face and name I do know.

Her English level is low, but she is asking me all kinds of questions about myself. Questions like: Do you like sports? Max likes sports. I've heard Koreans like to fix people up and set up blind dates and such. I just didn't realize they would do it without asking you first. But, don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. I kept waiting for the moment she would put food in her mouth, so Max and I could talk. After all, its not everyday you get to speak to a Korean who is fluent in English, has an Australian accent, weighs more than 100 lbs, likes Harry Potter, and gets sarcasm. And has an Australian accent.

Ugh, but then Korea and its common questions had to go and rain on my parade.

She asked me how old I was.

"23 in America, but 24 in Korea." (FYI-technically I'm 25 in Korea now, since its after January 1st. Everybody turns a year older after the new year. However, I refuse to say I'm 25.)

I then asked Max how old he was.

Smiling, he says "I'm 19 in Australia."

Fuck wank bugger shitting arse head and hole.

Anyways....Grace then says "You from Texas Austin! Georgey Bushey from Texas Austin!"

Me: "Yes, he is, unfortunately."

Grace: "I love Georgey Bushey! You don't like Bushey? Why?"

Me: "I don't think he was a good president. Why do you like him?"

Grace: "Oh, he has charisma!"

She then tells me she has a dog, and wanna know what her dog's name is?
Georgey Bushey.

Grace:"Do you like Obama?"

Me: "Yes, I do."

Grace: "He cheat on his wife. She is crazy and angry!"

Me: "Obama? Why do you think this is true?"

Grace: "It is in the internet! Go searchey in internet. It is there."

Oh well, at least I got a free meal with a side of ear candy.

Good Intentions

Last weekend, Alex, Jodi, and Laurie came to stay with me on Friday night for an early "Thanksgiving". Alex and Jodi brought pumpkin pie, and Laurie and I were in charge of getting chicken, garlic bread, and making the potatoes.

Laurie got here around 7, and we went straight to Kim's Club to buy everything. After searching (with no success) for chicken, we kept wandering down the aisles. At the check out, we realized what we had bought.

I know, I know, its not Thanksgivingey. But it all looked so good. I hadn't drank red wine or eaten real bread, olive oil, and brie in MONTHS.

As we're eating the delicious food and drinking the fabulous California wine, we just keep chatting and laughing. Alex and Jodi are almost to Seongnam.

The bread? gone!
The brie? what brie?
The wine? barely any left.

We go downstairs to meet them (and to see the pumpkin pie), and reluctantly break the news to them.

Me-"We couldn't find any already cooked chicken."
Alex-"What? So buy raw chicken. Put it in a pan, turn the heat on...cooked chicken!"
Jodi-"How did the potatoes turn out?"
Laurie-"They will taste good. I just have to make them."
Jodi-"No potatoes either?! Weren't we coming here for a Thanksgiving meal?"
...you can guess how the rest of the conversation went.

However, after a couple glasses of wine and many apologies, they forgave us. Laurie made mashed potatoes, and the fried chicken place directly below my apartment increased their revenue. But most importantly, the pumpkin pie was opened!


As if we aren't goofy enough, we took some self portraits.



Serious self portraits. Laurie, really? All that's missing is a gold gaudy frame!

And then we put my loft to good use.


Happy Thanksgiving week everybody!

Don't Mess with Korea.

I've been thinking of a clever way to write this blog for an hour now. I am still squirming with indecision of how to describe the event, and can no longer let the details latch on to my brain. I must pull the suckers off one by one as I explain what it is like to travel from one country to another in a matter of minutes.

So I will simply begin where it all began.

It was a pleasant Saturday morning. Laurie and I awoke after a good night's sleep, and decided to get some breakfast. We walked just down my street to the Starbucks, where we each ordered a bagel with cream cheese and some coffee. We people watched. We talked about everything- boys, politics, friends, student loans, babies, life. It was a nice conversation. After which we decided to ditch the idea of going to the "retro olympics" and spend the dreary day watching Eat Pray Love. The girl at the ticket counter spoke excellent English. The attendant telling us which theater to go to spoke excellent English. After the American movie (which was great by the way, but the book is a gazillion times better), we wandered over to a shoe sale so Laurie could buy some boots. American sizes? Korean salesmen speaking English to us? Check and check.

By this time, the American sized bagels had digested, and we were in need of sustenance again. But where to go?

Me: "There's this place near my apartment that I've been wanting to try. From far away, the pictures look like kimchi pancakes."
Laurie: "OK, I'm game for anything. Let's go!"

We confidently walk into the restaurant not bothering with those advertising pictures outside. It was raining, after all. We see other Koreans at their tables eating. We glance at them, but are just focused on picking a table. We sit down toward the back, and wait to pick out something from a picture filled menu.



On second thought, "point" is more appropriate than "pick."

She brings us the typical side dishes. The soup, the bean sprouts, the garlic, the onions, the sesame leaves, the kimchi, and the delicious red sauce.

I can't recall what we were talking about before the event, but I'm sure it was something about the American movie or the American Starbucks or the typical American vodka cranberries we drank the night before at the American (ok, it's actually Canadian owned but close enough) bar we went to.

Then she brings them out in a bowl, covered in red sauce.



(Laurie, I don't think we're in America anymore.)

Laurie: "Oh...oh no...ummm...I don't eat seafood!"
Me: "Oh shit, really? What should we do?"
Laurie: "I don't know, I don't know."

As we are saying this, the waitress has turned on the burner and has now dumped the bowl's contents onto the hot skillet.

She walks away.

I briefly look down and think, man this is not fried calamari rings from Macaroni Grill. These are whole baby octopuses.

Laurie: "Oh my god,


..................................................................."

Me: "WHAT?! omg...omg....OMG."

I can't even express the sheer terror and shock on both of our faces. My chair immediately scraped across the floor to the back wall. Laurie's hands didn't know whether to keep hugging her face or pull herself out of the chair and out of the restaurant.

As we both sat there, with nervous tears joining our eyes to watch, tentacles kept moving. Some gently twisted in the air. Some squirmed into the sauce. Others died honorably, hardly moving.

I could barely watch, but was also becoming more afraid that the aprons the waitress gave us would be useful for flying sea creatures trying to escape.

Laurie: "What should we do?"
Me: "I don't know...but it looks like we need to stir it now."

Obviously, neither one of us were about to touch the spoon let alone touch anything near the table, lest we scare the octopuses with sudden movement causing them to leap out and latch their suckling tentacles onto our faces, our eye balls, into our ear canals, and up our nostrils.

The waitress came back, and, seeing we both were physically unable to do anything but shake uncontrollably from nervous laughter and tears, she stirred them.


(After they have boiled to death...notice the one strong arm still slightly moving in the front.)

The tentacles were now mostly in their final resting place. Luckily they were easily separated from their bodies after being cooked. I say this because the arms are at least close to being like calamari. Because, in case you forgot, we were at a restaurant. What do you do at a restaurant after your order comes out? You eat it.

Me: "Alright Rach, you can do this. You have to do this. It's just a typical Korean wrap. Start with the leaf, add some onion, sprouts, garlic, and red sauce. Alright, good job. Now you still have to do it. Yes yes you do. OK, stop being a baby and do it already! Alright, alright...just another piece of calamari type seafood. No big deal. It's no longer alive...hopefully."

I somehow ate these octopus wraps. One after the other. Always being careful not to grab ones with bodies still attached. Always careful to chew quickly and focus on the taste of garlic. Meanwhile, Laurie helped eat the side dishes, always cheering me on.

After being thrown out of our naive American state of mind by Korea's live octopus arms, we decided there was only one thing we could do to make ourselves feel better.



And that, my friends (and fellow Texans) is why you don't mess with Korea.

A Reply to Grandma's E-mail

I just received an e-mail from my Grandma with all of these great questions I never even thought writing about. So for everybody else who might be wondering the same, here are some answers:

We'll start with the personal one...why do I love tattoos? Because they're freaking awesome! No seriously, I don't know what made me love tattoos. Maybe its the artistic quality of them that I don't possess; maybe because its a way of individualizing (if that's not a word, I'm coining it!) one's own body; or maybe its because I grew up in the tattoo era, & it seems as normal as getting my ears pierced.
And no, I haven't gotten one in Thailand if that's what you're now thinking. :)

How was the flight? Well that question needs to be rephrased...How were my flights? DFW to Chicago was fine. Chicago to Seoul was LONG and uncomfortable. I sat next to a man who had no concept of personal space and ate loudly. But, the Korean food was very good, they served free wine, and I watched four movies. The flight from Seoul to Chiang Mai was terrific. I had two seats to myself, and at that point, it was like having a king sized pillow topped bed with chocolates on the pillow and a Paul Walker look alike warming the sheets. Heck, maybe even Paul Walker himself.

How is the weather? She's mildly warm and the most humid I've ever experienced. I thought being from Texas and having lived in Florida would prepare me for the humidity. My hair has never been so frizzy! I can drink a liter of water and never have to pee because the sweat just pours out. But, having said that, the nights and early mornings are quite nice, I don't need lotion, and my skin looks great.
Also, it gets dark here at 7:30 and is light by 6:00...which is great because once the sun goes down, the evenings are so pleasant.

Everybody knows you can't drink the tap water....but they have these drinking water machines on the side of the roads. I was buying bottled water at the 7-11 (they are as common as Starbucks in the US) for around 15-20 baht everyday. But since discovering the machines, I can pay only one baht and fill up as many bottles as I can carry! Its approx 30 baht per $1.

I hope that fulfilled everybody's curiousity about the little details.

I will post a blog sometime soon about the food (with pictures!) and how cheap and great it is.

Until then, everybody please keep your fingers crossed if you believe in luck, pray if you pray, or whatever else it takes! Three of us are still waiting to receive our contracts, so we can go to Bangkok after training to get our Korean visas. If this falls through and I don't have a job, I have no idea what I will do!