This is the year that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends...

This will be a quick post. A streaming of thoughts, if you will.

Final exams were December 7-10, 2010.

What has happened since December 10th?

3 weeks of class: one week of which I had none due to going over the exam, another week of which I was on my death bed, and one week of a Christmas game

Then school let out for winter vacation. Ah, but you are on the other side of the world. I need to explain further.

vacation- n. a period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest, recreation, or travel; recess or holiday

vacation in Korea- v. a period of suspension of rest, recreation or travel, usually used for extra studying at academies, winter English camp, or group study in a freezing classroom

Remember when I said that final exams were December 7-10th?
Well, today is February 7, 2011, which clearly means that kids should come back to school for one week.

This is not the first week of the new school year. This is the last week of the school year. The one with the final exams on December 7th.

"What the hell is going to happen this week?" you might ask.

Today is Monday. The first day back after over 6 weeks of no public school classes. So naturally, students have end of year exams. These won't count for anything due to the the final exams already being taken and recorded.

The next three days, class is as usual. By usual I mean kids will not listen and be stir crazy due to the fact that they literally have no reason to pay attention. And by usual, I mean I will be teaching another holiday lesson, because the book only has enough information to fill approximately 2 weeks out of a school year.

Friday is Graduation day. This means the principal and a few 3rd grade students will go into the video room and have their ceremony, while other students sit in the classroom and watch it on TV. Then kids will stay until sometime after 4:30 (my ass is out the door after that), studying in freezing classrooms.

George Bush has charisma, and Obama is an adulterer.

One of the parents I teach asked me to go to dinner with her tonight to practice her English. When she asked me, she specifically said, just you and me. This lady is very spastic, intense, and just a lot to handle. But, she's also very nice and sweet, and who are we kidding? I'm not one to turn down a free meal.

So, I got home from school, did pilates, threw on a shirt, put my hair in a messy bun, threw on my sneakers, and walked to the restaurant. Whatever, just get this dinner/English practice over with, so I can be warm in my PJs.

She walks to the door to meet me, and takes me to our table. As I'm putting my things down, I realize there's two guys sitting at the table RIGHT next to us. They are looking at us like they know her or something. One of them is really really really cute too.

"Rachel, this is my nephew and my son!"

Oh shit.

I immediately see the cute sweater hanging in my closet, the stylish black boots next to my door, and my hair straightener and brush just lying by the bathroom sink.

Luckily, my mind wakes back up in time to meet Max, the Korean with the heavy Australian accent from Melbourne who will graduate with an Accounting degree next year. And her son, who I've taught for four months, but have no recognition of who he is. Don't judge- I see 750 students each week. Still, it would have been nice if he were one of the few kids whose face and name I do know.

Her English level is low, but she is asking me all kinds of questions about myself. Questions like: Do you like sports? Max likes sports. I've heard Koreans like to fix people up and set up blind dates and such. I just didn't realize they would do it without asking you first. But, don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. I kept waiting for the moment she would put food in her mouth, so Max and I could talk. After all, its not everyday you get to speak to a Korean who is fluent in English, has an Australian accent, weighs more than 100 lbs, likes Harry Potter, and gets sarcasm. And has an Australian accent.

Ugh, but then Korea and its common questions had to go and rain on my parade.

She asked me how old I was.

"23 in America, but 24 in Korea." (FYI-technically I'm 25 in Korea now, since its after January 1st. Everybody turns a year older after the new year. However, I refuse to say I'm 25.)

I then asked Max how old he was.

Smiling, he says "I'm 19 in Australia."

Fuck wank bugger shitting arse head and hole.

Anyways....Grace then says "You from Texas Austin! Georgey Bushey from Texas Austin!"

Me: "Yes, he is, unfortunately."

Grace: "I love Georgey Bushey! You don't like Bushey? Why?"

Me: "I don't think he was a good president. Why do you like him?"

Grace: "Oh, he has charisma!"

She then tells me she has a dog, and wanna know what her dog's name is?
Georgey Bushey.

Grace:"Do you like Obama?"

Me: "Yes, I do."

Grace: "He cheat on his wife. She is crazy and angry!"

Me: "Obama? Why do you think this is true?"

Grace: "It is in the internet! Go searchey in internet. It is there."

Oh well, at least I got a free meal with a side of ear candy.

The Best & Most Complicated Care Package Ever

I had a note taped to my door last night when I got home. Speaking of going home, last night I pulled a smart one and got on the wrong bus in Suwon. Why was I in Suwon? Laurie and I felt it necessary to improve Korea's economy by devouring dinner and dessert at TGI Friday's.

Anyways, back to the side story. I said my final goodbye (she is going back home for Christmas, the lucky mee chin nyun) and hopped on what I thought was bus 720-1.

I was so tired due to my small cold and 2am viewing of Sleepless in Seattle the night before, that I fell asleep. When I woke up, I noticed we were passing a sign that said Tancheon stadium was to the right, but we went straight. Mmmmm, that's odd. I live next to Tancheon stadium. Why aren't we going that way?

After a few more stops, I begin to realize either
A) I'm dreaming,
B) the route has changed or
C) this bus driver is an idiot who doesn't know the correct route.

I begin to get up to yell at him for not taking me directly to my apartment and not serving hot cocoa on the bus, when I glance at the list of stops. It's there that I see the damn -2 in the corner.

So those little tiny numbers after the dashes really do mean something, in case you were wondering.

At this point, its just a Korean lady and me on the bus, and he is now flying down a windy dark road with no traffic. He finally stops in front of some quiet dark apartment complexes and tells both of us to get off.

Whoops.

So I start walking across the street to the other stop, to go back toward AK plaza where I can either take the subway home or get on the right stinkin' bus.

Did I mention the street was dark and quiet?

Nonetheless, when I start to cross this empty street, the ajumma grabs my arm and starts talking to me in Korean. She was probably saying something like,
"Idiot foreigner, you can't cross the street if you aren't at a cross walk and the pedestrian light isn't green! With this quiet road, there's no telling how many cars will start to fly past as you quickly cross the street."

So we walk down to the cross walk together, and make it ever so safely to the empty bus stop to go back the other way.

After the bus ride back, followed by a quick subway ride, I finally arrive in Yatap. Only when I swipe my T-money card, it says error and won't let me go through.

Did I mention I was holding a bag filled with popcorn, hangers, oreos, and a huge heavy jug of red wine? And that I have a cold and was up since 2am watching Sleepless in Seattle?

Anyways, I started to walk toward the handicap gate to hop over it, when a sweet Korean girl said no, no, it will work now...and she was right, somehow. I guess the one gate I chose was freakishly slow. Go figure.

How in the hell did I get on this subject? Oh yeah, there was a note taped to my door when I finally got home.

I brought it to school today for Lilith to read for me, and it said I had a parcel waiting for me at the security desk. Yay! I anxiously waited for 4:30 all day, so I could race home and see what it was. I walk to the security desk first, and show him this note. The same note my co teacher read and immediately understood that there was a package at the security desk.

But the security guy never gave me a package. Instead, he just looked at the note like it was written in English, and kept talking and asking me questions. I showed him my apartment # on the note, but he clearly didn't have a package for me. So I pointed up, thinking maybe he was telling me I needed to go to the actual apartment office. He nodded his head yes.

So I went to the top floor, and gave the lady the note. She then jabbers on in Korean for about a gazillion seconds, and then pulls out her bank book and starts asking me questions.

I start to wonder if I'm being punk'd. Where are you Ashton Kutcher?

I call my coordinator to translate for me, and she then asks me if I paid my bill.
"Yes, I got the bill two days ago, and paid it yesterday morning."
"Oh ok, she was going door to door to find out who paid a bill but didn't leave their name, but she has yours so you're ok."

Alright, so I came up here with a note about a parcel, and now we are talking about a bill, so did the note actually refer to the bill? I point at the note again and she points toward the neighboring apartment building and jabbers some more. I just look at her and say Ode yo (where)? Finally, she brings a maintenance guy to walk me to wherever I'm supposed to go to pick up this blasted package.

We get to the first floor. We walk toward the security desk.
The security guy sees the note, and immediately produces my package.

The same exact note!

Korea, you really confuse me sometimes.

No matter though. The important thing is this:


And this is why my parents will always be better than yours.

Miscommunication? Try No Communication.

This should have tipped me off.


But my coordinator told me I had to come to school today. And at dinner last night with three of my co teachers, they all seemed confused when I told them I still had to go to work and said they were sorry.

This also should have tipped me off.

You see, today is Korea's national SAT day. So instead of having the SAT on multiple Saturdays throughout the year for high school students to take, they only have one and every high school student takes it on that one day. Its an all day event. So it has kind of turned into a holiday for everybody else, even middle schools. I knew this, but since my coordinator said I still had to come to school, I woke up, got ready, stopped at Starbucks, and headed out a little later than usual. Since, you know, there wasn't any reason to get there as early as I normally do.

20 minutes later, with a now cold scone in my purse and my toffee nut latte at slightly less than room temp, I walk up to the school. It's locked. The halls are dark. No cars are there. But, I'm not fooled. I was told by multiple people I still had to come to work. I was looking forward to this. A full day of no interruptions so I could lesson plan and prepare the room for my open class.

But like I said, the halls were dark. The doors, locked. I rang the bell.
Security dude: confused look on his face, nods his head no
Me: confused look on my face, pointing upstairs "me, teacher, work"
Security dude: makes the ex-uh gesture with his hands (no)
Me: see above
Security dude: Hakyo (school), NO! again makes the no gesture with his hands
Me: annoyed look on my face, ok.....

I text my coordinator to let her know what happened and that I will work from home, but she's supervising the SAT all day. So, obviously, there won't be a reply.

I start walking back, and see some of my students near the sidewalk practicing Shinee's Hello dance...I'm tempted to join them, but I don't want make them feel bad with my awesome Kpop moves when its their day off from school.

Middle school girls: "Teacher, you no have to work today. Test day!"
Me: "Well I was told I had to come to work, but you're right, nobody is there. So, if anybody asks tomorrow, will you tell them that you saw me here?"
Middle school girls: "Yes, yes!"

So I walk back getting more annoyed with each step. I text my friend who teaches middle school nearby. She tells me her school told her to come in at 10am.

Is that the case? If so, my school is going to be one English teacher short today when 10am rolls around.