Warning #2: If the title didn't give it away already, this is me holding nothing back. If you're a smart cute single guy who isn't crazy, please stop reading this.
As some of you may know, I've been sick this past week. In the states, when you catch a cold, it was no big deal. You take some nyquil, drink lots of fluids, sleep all weekend, and you're back on your feet in no time.
That's not Korea's style.
This cold/sinus infection/Korean death plague* was horrendous.
If I were to blow my nose using Orlando Bloom instead of a tissue, this is what you would see:
Sorry Orlando!
So much for a fun-filled Christmas day. After opening my presents and skyping with the family, I spent the rest of the day sleeping, taking steamy hot showers, watching movies, and cursing at the pharmacy downstairs for being closed.
20 minutes after arriving at school on Monday morning, it was decided that I was going to the doctor after lunch, and it was suggested (ordered) that I sleep in the heated bed in the teacher's lounge until that time came.
Normally in Korea, when you are sick, you don't go to a doctor's office. You just go to the hospital. The hospital isn't just for emergencies and surgery. However, the spirits of the universe were on my side that day, and we got to visit the nose and throat clinic that just happened to be in Yatap. Not that it really mattered.
You'll read why.
After a 2 minute wait (no appointment was made), I walked into the room. There were all kinds of medical utensils on the little table next to my chair, and a TV screen in front of me. The doctor quickly shoved this little tube up my nostrils to take a picture. It didn't hurt at all, but then I realized the pictures were on the screen. I don't like seeing anything related to the inside of my body, or anybody else's body for that matter. It wigs me out. Then he made me open my mouth, and shot this blast of weird tasting air into my throat. Now, I'm not sure if he discusses the medical problems will all of his patients or if he just wanted to practice his English, but he began to tell me I had a sinus infection, and pointing to the insides of my nostrils on the screen.
As if I really needed to hear about the details of the grossness happening inside my body. Really, why can't doctors examine you, give you medicine, and not speak a word about why? If I ever get cancer or get a kidney stone or break a bone, I don't want to know about it. Just fix it, and tell me when its over.
Anyways, as we were walking back toward the waiting area, I got that familiar feeling. The same feeling I got the first time I went to a chiropractor. The feeling I get before, during, and after getting blood taken. The feeling I get after getting any kind of shot. But I'm in Korea, with a co worker, and I have to be a big girl about this. So what do I do?
"Sungsook, where's the bathroom?"
Unfortunately, it was all the way down a long hall. I quickly walked out, but the closer I got to the end of the hall way, the more these black spots got in my way. I kept ignoring them thinking they would give up and bother somebody else, but they weren't having it. They may as well have been Ryan Reynolds with his shirt off. I just couldn't help but notice them. I never did find the bathroom, but there was a couch at the end. How I got there, I'll never know.
After a few minutes of laying down to let my dignity run for the door, I started to feel better, so I walked over to the pharmacy where Sungsook, aka my Korean savior, had just gotten my medicine. We walked back to her car, when I realized I didn't pay for anything.
"Sungsook! How much do I owe you for the medicine?"
"Oh, its 4,400 won."
"Oh yeah, and the doctor's visit. How much was that?"
"3,000."
Yes, folks, a doctor's visit, antibiotics, and cold medicine for a whopping $7.40.
I tell ya, that damn national health insurance...its...well, mmm...its great!
The large silver packets in the corner are the antibiotics. Take one pill twice a day...pretty standard.
Those other goody bags? Indulge in one of those after every meal. That comes out to 14 pills a day!
Yes, this is a Hello Kitty humidifier. It was the cheapest one they had, and its supposed to help in this dry winter air. I know, I know. I'm officially a dweeb.
On a completely different note, I've been using Secret Clinical Strength deodorant for a long time now. It has always worked like a charm. For some reason, though, lately it has most certainly NOT been working like a charm. I've been giving that area extra attention in the shower, switching between the two types I have...nothing was working. So today, I decided to just go without and see what happened. After all, Koreans never wear deodorant, and they never stink.
Wouldn't ya know, I came home, did the sniff test and...nada!
So that just goes to show, kimchi has more benefits than vitamins and fiber.
*Source: Keara, Facebook comment, profile of Rachel Howell, December 24th at 7:16pm
i am honored to have made it to the blog! although i do regret the circumstances.
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